Beast Bitter by Middle Ages

I had no idea what to expect from this beer, and that’s good.

It looks like beer, it’s just a copper color with a bit of a head. It smells like bubblegum sweetness, and some citrus. The taste I don’t really know how to describe it. It’s quite odd, it starts out pretty okay, just kind of a bitter beer with some sweetness, pretty non distinct but not offensive. Then once you swallow you can just feel this onset of sweetness and old/burned malts, and bad bread. It’s just really unpleasant once you swallow it. It’s the flavor of a warm Pabst if you’ve let the can just kind of sit out in the room instead of refrigerating it.

Maybe I just got a bad bottle, maybe it’s been sitting too long, or maybe it’s just not a good beer. Either way, I sure as hell won’t be buying this beer again. 

Overall: D

Not the worst beer I’ve ever had, but I’d prefer a cold pabst because it just goes down without making a fuss.

Pepe Nero by Good Island

Admittedly I’m not the biggest fan of Belgian style ales, and I haven’t aged this beer at all because I’m a college drunkard and simply do not have that kind of time.

It looks fine, dark body, dark tan head. It smells like caramel, roasted malt, alcohol, and a weird bit of bubblegum sweetness. It’s got a decent feel, noticeable in your mouth, but not too heavy to where it just sinks to the bottom of your gut. It tastes peppery, it’s noticeable but not overwhelming, I’m a fan. It’s got a good, classic, belgian ale flavor that isn’t really anything special, but when in the finish there’s a fair bit of smokiness. While this is unexpected, it’s not uncalled for, and a little chocolate flavoring to seal the deal. 

Like I said, I’m not the biggest Belgian Ale fan, but I do enjoy them on occasion, and when some are done well they’re done well. This one is just pretty okay, but nothing that is head and shoulders above other belgians.

Overall: B

Hop Head Red by Green Flash

It looks pretty nice, it has a good head on it, and a nice red-brown color.

It smells a little bit fruited, kinda piney. It has a good feel in your mouth, not too carbonated, not too heavy, but not watery either. It’s noticeably piney, and not very much malts but some toffee malty taste. Pretty bitter, noticeably hoppy. I just burped and it tasted like marijuana, so that’s kind of a thing.

If you’re a fan of hops and bitterness, put this in your mouth. It’s pretty good.

Overall: A-

Clown Shoes Lubrication

This Ale is black as hell. Legitimately black ale. There’s even a lighter behind the glass, and you can’t even see the flame through it.

It smells kinda malty, kinda like a stout maybe, totally smells strong and heavy, and a some piney hops in it.

It feels pretty nice in the mouth, it has a definite présence and you know that it’s there. The smell is pretty deceptive though. It tastes more hoppy, kind of piney and citrusy, with a taste of toasted malts. It’s actually damn tasty, but it’s not an easy drinker.

Overall: B+

Nosferatu by Great Lakes Brewing.

I haven’t done this in a good long forever.

So I picked up a whole bunch of beers today in a couple of make your own 6 packs at half time today, so I guess I’ll be doing a few of these over the coming days.

I picked this up because of the name, and the the descriptive text on the bottle. I figured, if they named it after one of my favorite movies it’s probably some kind of good.

The first thing I noticed about it was the pretty amber color, and the nice sized head on the beer, then the lacing it left on the glass. Everything about this beer just looks damn good. The smell is also pretty damn nice good, some nice hops on the nose right off the bat. Nice and piney and a slight bit of caramel.

As for the taste, it’s got a really nice mouth feel, and tastes like some nice piney hops, a slight bit of caramel, and some nice malts. Pretty much it’s a great tasty Imperial Red Ale, with lots of hops and a lot of flavor. I’m a big fan. It may only be barley, hops, yeast and water, but it does it god damn well.

Overall: A

Star Wars Stouts:
 New England - Imperial Stout Trooper

So, I’m doing a beer review with a special guest.
How lame. Let’s get on with it

Jenna: It tastes like day old coffee but in a good way. I definitely don’t give it an A, I’m gonna say, normal B, but extra points for the bottle, Star Wars reference, and I’m giving it extra nerd cred. 

Scott: As any good stout, the color is as dark as the soul Vader doesn’t have, and it has a really nice tan head that sticks around for a while and laces a bit on the glass. It smells like good cold brewed coffee w/ chocolate, with a bit of a sweet note instead of smelling bitter. As for the taste it’s definitely a stout, a bunch of malts, toffee, chocolate, some coffee, and with a bit of an aftertaste of alcohol, as the beer is pretty heavy on it at 9.2% APV. A bit noticeable, but pleasant none the less. It’s a heavy beer, and it feels like a heavy beer in the mouth, but it’s not as filling as one would expect from a stout, which is nice sometimes.

Jenna: What he said, and I taste a bit of sour cherry too. It’s turning my face red, and I’m feeling generous, so I’m changing my grade to a B+.

Scott: I’m going to go ahead and give this an A.

Final grade: A
 (I’m not counting Jenna’s, but you can if you want)

Abominable Ales

Southern Tier - Cuvée Series 3

It looks good from the box, the description sounded great. I guess you can’t judge a book by it’s cover or the book flap.

It’s a pretty looking beer, you can’t dispute that. The smell is pretty weak, but very sweet in the little bit there is. It tastes of a bit of coconut, hazelnut, and sweet sweet fruits. There may be some toffee and caramel in there, and a bit of oak.

I’ll come right out and say it though, this beer is pretty bad. It’s much too fucking sweet. There’s also this really unpleasant bitter aftertaste that just is sticking with me that I can’t place. I can stand the beer when it’s chilly, but it just gets worse as it warms up (it’s usually the opposite for good beers).  I barely want to write about it, much less drink it, but I paid for it.

I’d rather be drinking a PBR right now.

F+ (The + is for effort)

Bourbon Beers

Widmer Brothers Barrel Aged Brrrbon

This beer just looks nice, it’s a clear auburn/cherry-wood color, and it smells pretty great too. The main scent you get is this sweet buttery bourbon scent that just really gives this beer that extra something that’s lacking in many. It also has faint wafts of cherries.

The taste, well if you like bourbon like I do, you will very much enjoy this beer. It tastes particularly like bourbon with a bit pine flavored hops, and some malty flavors in there as well. The main thing that I noticed was the buttery feel that coats your mouth and sicks with you, and it’s quite pleasant. It also has some winter spices, and tastes of vanilla, since this is a winter beer. You can even taste some of the oak that the beer was aged in, which is quite a pleasant surprise. Plus, it being 9.4 ABV it makes the world just that much warmer. But mostly, you really do notice the bourbon, and the buttery sensation/flavor.

Overall: A-

(Posting now because tumblr wasn’t working last night)

Ancient Ales

Dogfish Head Theobroma

Kind of a cool idea for a beer, chemically analyze ancient pottery, then make a beer with those ingredients, thusly recreating a drink not brewed in thousands of years.

It smells something distinct, and I can’t quite place it, maybe it’s a bit of the chile, maybe it’s the annatto but I have not a fucking clue what that is, OOPS.

It tastes pretty good too, some malts, some hops, neither are very strong, you get a bit of that chocolate in the flavor and it’s not outright, but the taste almost hints that there’s chocolate in there. At the end of the swill, somewhat on the back of the tongue there’s a bit of chilie flavor, some heat but not much though. It’s there, but it’s not overwhelming, and you have to think about it to really notice it. A bit of a honey and spicy flavor in there as well, it’s nice. It also doesn’t sit in your mouth for a long time either, it kind finishes clean and nice.

Overall: B

Somber Stouts

Dogfish Head’s Bitches Brew

So, here is the reason why I wanted to drive all the way to half time in the first place, and let’s just say that the drive was damn well worth it. Since I’m drinking a beer which was brewed to honor the album, I am listening to Bitches Brew while drinking this.

As soon as you pour the beer you’ll notice that this beer is about as dark as my soul, with a really nice foamy brown head. It smells somewhat of chocolate and coffee smell, with a roasted tinge. For the taste, it’s upfront about the chocolate, but that part is almost bitter somewhat, and you have the malty coffee flavor playing around in there as well. After a bit I realized there was something else going on in there, a particular sweetness of honey which balances out the bitter chocolate and adds something. All the while there’s this flavor which I’m not quite familiar with, which I’m assuming is the gesho root which the beer is brewed with. It’s this specific bitter taste, with an almost woody flavor, but it’s not quite. It’s also not the same specific citrusy hops that are so well known in beers. All the flavors in this beer play together and create something special, and intriguing, and it makes you want to think more about what you’re tasting. It’s a full feeling and tasting beer, don’t get me wrong, but before I took my first swallow, I thought it was going to be much heavier, but it’s not. It’s surprising, it’s just the perfect weight. It’s bold tasting and it goes down smooth, something very akin to the album.

Final Verdict: A+

Blasphemy and Barley Wines

Dogfish Head - Olde School Barley Wine Ale

Back by no demand.

This is a strong beer, at 15% alcohol, it damn well smells like it has that much in it, and it has a strong note of spice in there too. But don’t expect to drink this and get away with fresh breath, you will smell like a distillery.

It’s a barley wine, so yeah it’s a bit heavy, but like most DFH beers it’s still pretty drinkable, which is kind of rare for a barley wine style ale, since they’re usually pretty strong and heavy. It tastes a bit fruity, but heavier fruits, totally has a nice bit of spice in there as well that sits on the tip of your tongue for a good while after. It’s got a strong malty flavor without much hop flavor but enough to add a slight citrus and bitterness. And the alcohol, at 15% APV, it’s going to taste like it, you swallow it and the alcohol flavor does stay with you, and it does come out. It may be a bit strong, but the sting is pleasant, and adds to the beer, plus the spices mask it for a good part.

Overall, B+/A-

Ales and Apathy (Lagers and Loneliness): Well fuck it, I guess I’ll do another one.

This is one of my standbys, Brooklyn Lager.

Old style pre-prohibition lager, really tasty, and for some reason I really do prefer it out of the can, I only buy brooklyn in cans lately, then again that metallic tinge has always intrigued me, whatever that says about me.

On the nose it’s not amazingly strong, but if you get in there you can get malts with a bit of citrus smell (hops, ya?). On the tongue it’s a nice even flavor, malty like a lager should be, with a good balance of hops (which as you will learn, I’m a total fan of), and the hops come out a bit on the back of the tongue in the very pleasant after taste. A little lemony, and a bit bready like a lager should be. It also feels just full enough to drink easily, but not too full where you’re full after one, or too light where you don’t remember you drank anything. It’s a bit light, but it works for what it is.

I’m rambling, whatever, drink beer.

Overall, A/A-